relationships

like how does one compare a relationship and the value of it and if its good or not?

like i'm so confused on relationships...like i just don't get them...so confusing!

i'm hearing that my relationship with dad was bad and its like sure it was inappropriate in some ways but at least he spent time with us. yeah it was mostly one sided and about meeting his needs but at least there was time together.

i mean like this week has been bullshit in my life. like seriously! physically healing in which it having visitors would be so appreciative and welcomed but people just come by to say hi and they think it fulfills whatever quota they may have for seeing sick people. its in and out and no quality time spent that's for damn sure! like seriously after this week, i'd rather spend time with dad and our chats and all that over this week in which people are pretending they care. with dad, we knew where we stood. here its all freaking pretending and i'm sick and tired of people pretending they care.

plus the whole birthday thing this week. one birthday wish. pathetic! not only sick and down and out on our bday but no one but a single person even acknowledged the day. so like does that mean there is no significance nor meaning behind the day? i mean like who cares. growing up it was never a big deal nor celebrated so why should i be surprised now?  just when you think things have changed and people have grown up...they haven't.

totally sucks!

life sucks!