So just got some blood work done and we totally over reacted with the results we saw before the doc put her two cents in. She doesn't seem to have any concern over the abnormal results and says we're "fine".
Like that's pretty obvious sign when the numbers are way elevated and yet we are brushed aside like its no big deal.
So what does that mean in all of life? Are we totally over reacting to what happened to us growing up? Making a mountain out of a mole hill???
Like were things really as bad as they seemed?
I mean everyone gets yelled at. And yeah so what if we never heard I love you. No biggie. The name calling, put downs and all that its a part of a teenage life; I mean, right? We are making another big deal out of nothing.
Like what teen doesn't want to live at some point, its typical growing up stuff. Has to be. Then of course there are those other hush hush, fam secrets but really that was all made up. Wasn't it?
Now I don't seem to know if I'm coming or going.
So confused.
Like I'm used to abrasive in the face talk. And its interesting cuz I just had another person do it to me and yet the way he did it was so different than what I'm used to. Like in the past it was all about making me feel small and insignificant and stupid but this time it was different. Hard to put my finger on it exactly but its like I was seen as a human instead of just an object to release vengeance. And not that this person was looking for vengeance just was being blunt and honest...I think. Still questioning his motives but it isn't because I have anything that doesn't line up or feel right but because its my very nature to question where others are coming from. And trust me if you're being nice to me, then right away that is every reason to send out the hound dogs looking for the hidden agenda. No one is ever nice to just be nice. Always looking to get something from me. But eerily, somehow, I don't think that is the way with this guy.
Oh and as I say guy, don' get any wrong ideas. He's older, fatherly type. Sigh, can't imagine there are any like him my age that would have any interest in me.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Thursday, June 13, 2013
about me
Garth Brooks. Sweet Dreams Series. Boy Meets World. Oh, the great 90's. There are some things I've been able to take away in the time period I grew up in. If nothing else, I can say that there was great creative imaginative works that came out during that time.
I'm way bummed that I cannot get my hands on the Sweet Dreams Series. It is going to take a great search party to track down some of the books. Totally sucks! Like those books were so good for easy reads and just being able to loose yourself in a whole 'nother world.
Garth isn't my only fave country fan but is a great representation of all of that era. Fresh, raw material was being produced and the roots stayed true. Amazing!
I have immersed myself in the first episodes of Boy Meets World and am reliving some good times. The only escape I had from the environment I grew up in. Crazy I could even muster a smirk or a chuckle back then but let me tell ya it was very much needed to well can't say balance out but at least move the scale in a positive direction.
The Matthews family was the ideal home environment and on Friday nights I could relive and transfer myself to a better place. How great it would be if tv life existed.
Sweet 16, a time that should be full of sleepovers and giggles and girlfriends and dances but instead rained with arguments and fights and other crap I'd rather not talk about. Plagued to be swallowed whole in the abyss.
Life needed an escape plan. And trust me, I tried. Failed. Just like I do at everything else in my life.
But at least I was daddy's little girl and had something going for me.
Graduation was only a year away but in my eyes it could be a galaxy away for all I knew. There was no way I could wind up walking across that stage. Not that I wanted to.
Kim and Lynn - never will I forget our conversation at McD's. Yes, I was serious when I said I just wanna live and make it to graduation. That's as far as my sights went. And no further. Pathetic, I know. But its my life.
Either accept me where I'm at or move on. Trust me the majority choose the latter. I'm not worth getting to know or have ANY type of relationship with. You'll save your time and energy so I'll stop you now from wasting it all on me.
I'm way bummed that I cannot get my hands on the Sweet Dreams Series. It is going to take a great search party to track down some of the books. Totally sucks! Like those books were so good for easy reads and just being able to loose yourself in a whole 'nother world.
Garth isn't my only fave country fan but is a great representation of all of that era. Fresh, raw material was being produced and the roots stayed true. Amazing!
I have immersed myself in the first episodes of Boy Meets World and am reliving some good times. The only escape I had from the environment I grew up in. Crazy I could even muster a smirk or a chuckle back then but let me tell ya it was very much needed to well can't say balance out but at least move the scale in a positive direction.
The Matthews family was the ideal home environment and on Friday nights I could relive and transfer myself to a better place. How great it would be if tv life existed.
Sweet 16, a time that should be full of sleepovers and giggles and girlfriends and dances but instead rained with arguments and fights and other crap I'd rather not talk about. Plagued to be swallowed whole in the abyss.
Life needed an escape plan. And trust me, I tried. Failed. Just like I do at everything else in my life.
But at least I was daddy's little girl and had something going for me.
Graduation was only a year away but in my eyes it could be a galaxy away for all I knew. There was no way I could wind up walking across that stage. Not that I wanted to.
Kim and Lynn - never will I forget our conversation at McD's. Yes, I was serious when I said I just wanna live and make it to graduation. That's as far as my sights went. And no further. Pathetic, I know. But its my life.
Either accept me where I'm at or move on. Trust me the majority choose the latter. I'm not worth getting to know or have ANY type of relationship with. You'll save your time and energy so I'll stop you now from wasting it all on me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)